Letter from Your Wife

You've just had a fight with your best friend, and they have told you they never want to speak to you again. During your various stages of anger and denial (I forget the other steps but you can easily google them), you imagine receiving a letter from your estranged friend. They are tortured by their feelings of remorse. They treated you unkindly and want nothing more than to apologize to you and do whatever they can to make you feel better. They underestimated you. They said things they never should have said. They miss you.

I understand. I have felt what you have felt. And here is something I can do.

I will write you an affecting and heartfelt letter of apology on behalf of the person who has most mistreated you. If you will provide me your mailing address, the details of your falling-out, and some of your thoughts about the encounter, I will respond to you with handwritten affection, genuine remorse, and attention to your future comfort and happiness. This letter will be of a size that may be folded and kept in a pocket for future reference, laminated, torn up, or photocopied to a size that would best suit your particular wallet. I care about you. I just want to make things better. Letter from Your Wife costs $10 Cdn.